the flow of a reception is really up to you. there are key components that take place, but when is optional. this may be a bit of a modern approach, but i feel your reception should be designed specifically for you. some couples like to get all the “formal” activities out of the way in the beginning, while others like to stretch things out. we listen to our couples and ask the right questions to help them decide. i am a “get things out of the way” type of person. this leaves more time for dancing, and anytime there’s music, i wanna dance! aside from deciding the flow, you’ll also need to set the pace. do you want the reception to be relaxed and last 6 or 7 hours, or do you want it to be fast paced and last 4 to 5 hours? what ever your reception style; traditional, non traditional, relaxed, high energy, short or long, pick the flow and pace that is right for you… and your mother of course!
one consideration is the guest count. the number of guests invited will have an impact on the pace. moving large numbers takes longer so more time needs to be alloted.
choosing the events that take place during the reception is important in detailing the timeline. will there be a cocktail hour, will there be a grand entrance (who will be included), will there be formal toasts, will there be a blessing/welcome, will there be a first dance, father/daughter dance, mother/son dance, will there be a cake cutting, will there be a bouquet/garter toss, will there be a big sendoff? these are all considered the traditional wedding events that have been common for decades.
i like it when the couple is introduced then immediately goes into the first dance. it flows nicely; the master of ceremonies announces the newlyweds, the guests cheer, the music starts, and the bride and groom share their first dance together as a married couple. below is a picture of our past bride who decided this was best for them as well. Cutler and Cristen were married at DeerPark on the Biltmore Estate. thank you to Realities Photography for capturing this moment.
once the couple is introduced and dances, it’s nice to have the host of the party do a welcome. we do so many destination weddings. thanking guests for traveling is usually something couples like to include. in addition to or in place of the welcome, you may want to have a blessing. the minister, special relative or friend is usually happy to take part when asked. the dinner would then follow. depending on the type of reception (plated meal, buffet, heavy hors d’oeuvres, stations), depends on the amount of time needed. a good rule of thumb is 1.5 hours. it also depends on the venue and caterer, which i communicate with when making this decision.
i like to combine the toasts, cake cutting, and other special dances. often couples choose to have the toast before dinner, which is also nice. again it’s up to you! traditionally the toast is given by the best man. today, the maid of honor also makes a toast. you can elect to have open mic toasts. i usually suggest to do this at the rehearsal dinner, and leave the wedding day to 2 to 4 toasts. however, if you have a very casual rehearsal dinner, and plenty of time for open mic toast on the wedding night, i say go for it. often the father of the bride or father of the groom will want to speak. toasts can be formal or informal. i consider a formal toast when all guests are served champagne. guest toasting with the glass in hand i consider informal. check out this picture of Kim and Brady toasting in the conservatory at the Biltmore House. thank you to Corey McNabb Photography for sharing this photo with us.
many couples choose to have the cake cutting directly after the toasts. it works nicely since everyone’s attention is focused on the bride and groom. however, it can be done earlier or later in the night. it’s considered the first meal together as husband and wife, so having it take place before dinner makes perfect sense! caterer’s really like this set up. it allows them to cut the cake in the kitchen while the guest are focused on socializing and eating. you may like to wait an hour or so after dinner, which gives guests time to hang out and dance before eating again. what ever you decide, keep it clean and enjoy this moment together. that’s exactly what Nick and Angie did.
most brides do dance with their fathers. when? i say anytime, and as many times as they’d like! there is that one special father/daughter dance that you’ve either dreamed of or dreaded! in any case, sharing those few moments with your dad is a special time. now days, mother’s and sons dance. they can join in the end of the father/daughter dance or have a song of their own. this is one of the sweetess father & daughter dances i’ve seen. betsy was truly a daddy’s little girl. i love the timelessness of the photo taken by Aaron Imaging.
if you chose to do the bouquet/garter toss, i like it later in the evening after guests have enjoyed open dancing and loosened up a little. this wedding tradition can be a hit or miss, depending on the age of the couple and guests. the younger the couple the more successful. children love this part, especially the little girls. it’s important to consider your guest when deciding to include it. it’s not uncommon to have a bouquet toss without a the garter toss. some brides don’t like the idea of the husband taking a garter off in front of everyone, while other think it’s so fun. it also flows nicely to have it right before the last dance. you just want to make sure there’s plenty of participates still left to fight over who will marry next!
couples usually decide to have some type of planned send off. i find bubbles, sparklers, lavender, streamers or petals most often. the send off is the last hurray for the newlywed’s that guest share with them. it’s a time for celebration, and such a fun way to end a great night. sarah and rob were having a blast leaving to bubbles at The Grand Bohemian Asheville. photo by jen hunt photography.
~jennifer
